The Princess Bride

HOPEFULLY anyone reading this has already seen The Princess Bride - it is a fantastic movie, it has everything - action, adventure, sword fights, pirates, giants, friendship, true love - it is GREAT. That's it, that's my whole review of the movie. If you've seen it, you probably love it. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it, because you'll probably love it. Also I think it's on Netflix right now (in the US).

What you may not be as familiar with is the book, The Princess Bride. It was written by William Goldman (who also wrote the screenplay for the movie - which is why I believe it to be the best movie adaptation of a novel of all time), and man, is it good. It is almost exactly like the movie except for two ways, which I'll get to. First, a little backstory...


It was the year 2000. Who Let The Dogs Out was the only song they ever played on the radio,  I was in seventh grade, and liked to think of myself as an intellectual so I would target books at the library that were a little out of my age range. On my mother's recommendation I read The Temple of Gold by William Goldman and I loved it. William Goldman's way of writing just spoke to me in a really great way. When I went back to the library to find other stuff by Goldman, I found out that he abridged The Princess Bride by S. Morgenstern, which was then, and is still now, one of my all-time favorite movies.

I was stunned! William Goldman AND my favorite movie in novel form?! It was great, I took the book home and started reading and was almost immediately annoyed. I don't know if I knew what "abridged" meant at the time (for a ridiculously long time I thought approximately meant exactly - I would always see in geography books that a location would have an approximate population count and I would be amazed and think to myself, "but how do they know exactly how many people live there?"), but the more I read the book the more grating it was to read; William Goldman talked all about how his father, an immigrant from Florin, the region the novel is set in, used to read this classic Florinese novel to him as a child when he was ill. How he searched far and wide for a copy of it when his own son was old enough to read it, and was horrified to find that it was boring and only made good because his father skipped all the lame parts. Okay, I thought. This is all good stuff, but like... I don't care? This is my favorite movie, just let me read the damn book! I don't care if there are thirty pages about Princess Buttercup picking out a hat, I just want to read it for myself! I decided I would go in search of the unabridged version and read the novel in its full glory, the way S. Morgenstern intended.

Well, come to find out (after many humiliating library trips, and book store trips, and google searches for things like "where is Florin"), that (a) there is no unabridged version, (b) there is no S. Morgenstern, (c) none of the novel is based on a true story at all. I mean even the wraparound stuff - the stuff with his son and stuff - doesn't exist. I don't even think he has a son in real life.

Anyway, 12 year old me was pissed. Mostly at myself, for being a dumb kid, but also at William Goldman for getting one over on me like that. I threw the book down and vowed never again would I read anything by that William Goldman hack, and that was that.

It was years before I would come across the 30th anniversary edition of the book at Barnes and Noble one day. My rage had faded, only a vague feeling of embarrassment that accompanies most memories of my childhood social interactions remained. I looked through the book and thought, what the hell, maybe it's time to give it another shot. And I am SO glad I did.

The wrap-around story of William Goldman interacting with his family is great. It's charming and sardonic and meta before meta was a thing. And the actual story (which, if you want, you can just skip the "edits" and read the fairy tale) is funny and perfect. The version I bought even had the first chapter of the non-existent sequel, Buttercup's Baby, added to it.

Anyway I went off on a tangent there, but I think I mentioned there are two big differences between the book and the movie. The first is the most important reason, but first, a question: Who is your favorite character in The Princess Bride? I feel pretty sure that most people who see the movie are going to vote either Inigo or Fezzik as their favorite characters simply because they are awesome, as are the actors playing them (Mandy Patinkin and Andre The Giant). SO, reason number one why the book is better: there is MORE Inigo and Fezzik.

Their backstories, in the movie, are quickly thrown in in the movie while the characters give little monologues about themselves while they fight The Man In Black. It's actually a pretty clever way to give the info, it doesn't really feel out of place while you're watching the movie because everybody's just so damn sociable and charming, even during duels to the death. In the book, these backstories are delivered in flashback form, where there are basically mini chapters dedicated to explaining who these characters are and what brought them to this point. It's not a total dealbreaker, but it's just nice to get a little more time with these characters I love.

In another scene in the movie, Inigo and Fezzik are searching for The Man In Black and find the albino and threaten him and he tells them the secret back way into the Zoo of Death. In the book, the albino lies to Inigo and Fezzik and sends them into The Zoo of Death the normal way - the way that gets you killed. It is a harrowing scene, while Inigo and Fezzik's skills are tested in a variety of ways to see if they will survive and find Wesley in time.

I mean, I understand why this scene did not end up in the movie. It's fantastic, but it doesn't really move the plot along in a different way than them just walking in the back door without the struggle. But, if you love Inigo and Fezzik, and I know you do, this scene is a must read. It is my favorite scene in one of my all-time favorite books. I have a book mark in my copy of this book, marking this chapter, because every once in a while I like to just go back and read it again and again. It's that good.

The other difference between the book and the movie is the ending. The book ending is totally different. As an adult, I can appreciate the humor in it. As a seventh grader I was devastated. That is all I will say on this subject!

So I guess that's it. Bottom line: The Princess Bride is one of the best movies of all time, one of the best books of all time, and even while those two are debatable, I don't think there is any disagreement over the fact that it IS one of the best book to movie adaptations of all time. Two thumbs up. Watch this movie. Read this book. Thank me later.