Saturday, March 4, 2023

The Reef: Stalked (2022)

Look, this movie is BAD. There are some reviews that are going to try to trick you into thinking it's not so bad, but they are LYING TO YOU and want you to waste an hour and a half of your life on this hot steaming pile of garbage! Even Hulu knows it sucks - they only put two ads, both in the first twenty minutes of the movie. Why? Because they don't want you to have any pauses later on where you have time to consider whether you really want to waste MORE time watching the movie than you already have!

For a ridiculously lengthy spoiler-filled synopsis of the movie and the run-down of the ways in which it sucked (plus a couple bonus ways they could have saved it), read on...

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

The Adam Project (2022)

Look, I wanted to like this movie, I really did. I like Ryan Reynolds, and Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo are always welcome in anything I watch, but the longer I ruminate on this movie, the less I like it. Full spoilers ahead!

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Top Five Best TV Show First Kisses

Hiya, it's been a while! I don't think anyone reads this, but in case anyone does: I hope you're well, and I hope you're making it through this damn pandemic okay! Anyway I was watching clips of TV shows on Youtube, as one does, and I was reminded of Chuck and Sarah's great "first kiss" from the show Chuck - now technically they had kissed a bunch before the scene I'm talking about, but this was the first time they kissed for real and not as part of their cover story. This got me thinking about all the great TV show first kisses, and I was like "hey, I should list them somewhere!" and that's when I remembered I have a blog for this very reason!

Anyway, without further delay... here are my top five fave first kisses (in no particular order... uhh #spoilers, obviously)

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Saturday, July 28, 2018

The Expendables But With Characters We Know Instead Of Just Actors

While at dinner last night, myself and a couple of friends were discussing how cool it would be if there were a crossover movie with Jack Reacher, The Equalizer, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Taken, and how it would be especially cool if, in a twist no one saw coming, it turned out to be a Cloverfield movie. So I made the poster.


I would see this movie; would you?

P.S. I have seen a lot of movies lately, and am working on reviews, so keep an eye out for updates soon!

Monday, April 16, 2018

The Open House (2018)

I have had the opening paragraph of a review of The Open House sitting in my drafts for months because this movie was just too bland to say much about it. The actors were doing their very best, which is about the only solidly good thing I can say for it. Unfortunately, though they did try, they were unable to polish this turd into a diamond. Heads up, this is going to be a very spoilery review because I had some severe issues with the ending that kind of ruined the already mediocre movie. Full spoilers ahead!

Monday, April 9, 2018

A Quiet Place (2018)

I saw A Quiet Place at the theater yesterday and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it! Bottom line: it was a good movie, but I had some issues with it that kind of soured me on the film.

I would suggest if you have any interest at all, be like me: don't watch trailers or read reviews, just go and see it without knowing what you're getting into - you'll probably really like it (as almost all of the reviews I've seen attest to). Definitely don't read this review first, which is going to have LOTS of spoilers!

For those of you who have seen it, or don't care about spoilers (do people like that exist?)... here is my SPOILER FILLED review... with spoilers! Don't say I didn't warn you.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!