The Reef: Stalked (2022)

Look, this movie is BAD. There are some reviews that are going to try to trick you into thinking it's not so bad, but they are LYING TO YOU and want you to waste an hour and a half of your life on this hot steaming pile of garbage! Even Hulu knows it sucks - they only put two ads, both in the first twenty minutes of the movie. Why? Because they don't want you to have any pauses later on where you have time to consider whether you really want to waste MORE time watching the movie than you already have!

For a ridiculously lengthy spoiler-filled synopsis of the movie and the run-down of the ways in which it sucked (plus a couple bonus ways they could have saved it), read on...

The Open House (2018)

I have had the opening paragraph of a review of The Open House sitting in my drafts for months because this movie was just too bland to say much about it. The actors were doing their very best, which is about the only solidly good thing I can say for it. Unfortunately, though they did try, they were unable to polish this turd into a diamond. Heads up, this is going to be a very spoilery review because I had some severe issues with the ending that kind of ruined the already mediocre movie. Full spoilers ahead!

A Quiet Place (2018)

I saw A Quiet Place at the theater yesterday and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it! Bottom line: it was a good movie, but I had some issues with it that kind of soured me on the film.

I would suggest if you have any interest at all, be like me: don't watch trailers or read reviews, just go and see it without knowing what you're getting into - you'll probably really like it (as almost all of the reviews I've seen attest to). Definitely don't read this review first, which is going to have LOTS of spoilers!

For those of you who have seen it, or don't care about spoilers (do people like that exist?)... here is my SPOILER FILLED review... with spoilers! Don't say I didn't warn you.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!

Tear Me Apart (2015)

Welcome to 2018! I've started the year off right by signing up for Amazon Prime to have a whole slew of new movies and TV shows to watch... and yet I chose to watch the post apocalyptic horror movie Tear Me Apart. It's real bad, y'all.

Lavender (2016)

Lavender is a supernatural horror movie currently on Netflix. I think it's shooting for "atmospheric" but lands squarely at "kind of boring".